Learning to Deal....

Yesterday I realized that the line of work I've chosen is gonna be tough at times. So far I haven't experienced what I've experienced today! The death of a child never makes any sense....even when it is a complete stranger. When I've seen adults or elderly people die...it doesn't effect me as much, because I think...well they've lived their life...but wow...when its a child....its hard to understand...they don't even know what life is about yet! I keep thinking well, I'll get used to it, but like my dad told me...."its not about getting used to it, cause you'll never get used to people dying, but its learning to deal with it."

So now I have to find my way to deal with it. I'm sure it gets easier...but this first experience with it, really was hard to deal with. I handled myself very professionally, but man, I was fighting back the tears! As soon as I got off work, and walked to my car......I finally was able to let those tears out. But then I ask myself...what for?...is this dumb to be crying over someone that I don't know, never seen before in my life...I'm supposed to be the strong one....but I guess I can't always be...gotta let my emotions show sometimes.I guess God just had better plans for him, there was a reason that he left the way that he did. I just pray that the family can get through this, and find their way to deal with it...just as I will have to find my way of dealing with things like this. Its never easy when we try so hard to keep someone alive, but they just don't make it....so now I just have to find my way to deal with watching people die, because I know its always going to happen.