Just when I thought I was gettin used to the fact that he is gone and never coming back, then I start to go back to the "why's". Why him? Why now? Why couldn't the cancer go away? Why didn't the treatment work? Why didn't we get more time with him? Why...why....why...why?????
I woke up the last 2 days, and just get thinking about him, and the tears start flowing. I miss him so much right now. I just wanna be able to hug him, and I just wanna be able to talk to him. I wish he could be here to share this new part of my life, gettin a job, and making good money. I used to laugh when he would say, "can't wait til you finish school and start making the big bucks, then you'll pay me back the money you owe me and I can retire"......He never even got to see how much money I'm making...He never got to retire, and enjoy all his hardwork for soooo many years.
Its been 5 weeks and 2 days. Even tho I know he's gone, it still feels like he is just gone somewhere else, and will be coming home soon. It feels like when I lived an hour away, and we would all get together every so often...well it feels like its time to see him again...but this time it won't happen.
Everyday I come on here and watch the video of his testimony, just so I can hear his voice. I always think it will make me feel better, but I think it makes it worse. I just miss him. And I don't know how I'm supposed to get over this feeling.
so many things
10 years ago
