04/08/09

Hey everyone. Thanks for the continuous thoughts and prayers. Dad is still hanging in there. He's having good days and bad days. Mostly he isn't in his right mind. The liver is just sending the toxins to his brain, and it makes him all crazy. Today we are moving him from the regular hospital to a Hospice House. He's not going to be here in town, so that is going to be different for us, because he's not just down the street or here in the other room. It will be okay tho. The hospice house is absolutley beautiful, and they really accomodate the families as well as the patient. At least this way he will be getting the real comfort care that he needs. These places specialize in making the end of life such a comfortable process. And right now that is all we are asking for, is for him to be COMFORTABLE AND PAIN FREE. It hurts to see him in so much pain, and being so restless. And the communication thing gets to me. The other day I was in visiting him and he wanted me to help him with something so bad, but the words wouldn't come out and I couldn't tell what he wanted, and I just broke down in tears. I have tried all this time not to cry in front of him, but I couldn't help it. I told him I just wanted to help him, but I didn't understand. And he saw the tears in my eyes and had me lean over, and he whispered, I know you are trying to help. And thats all I could do...was try to understand him, and it just doesn't always work that way. But at least he knows I'm trying. So hopefully him being at the hospice house, he will get the good care that he needs.Last night I had a good visit with him tho, he was awake, and talking fairly normal for about 20 minutes. It was a good visit...he even let me take a new pic of him.